Domestic abuse and how to get help

According to research, one in four women and one in six men in the UK will be the victims of domestic abuse during their lifetime. Domestic abuse can affect people of any age, including older people.  

On average, two women in England and Wales are killed every week by a current or former male partner.

Domestic abuse can be:

• physical- when someone uses violence against you
• emotional - such as name calling, stalking, blackmailing or using your children against you
• sexual - such as forcing you to have intimate physical contact
• financial - such as controlling your access to money, how you spend your money or not allowing you to get a job

Controlling and coercive behaviour is now a criminal offence, with a maximum penalty of five years imprisonment.

Controlling behaviour includes:

• isolating you from others
• financial abuse
• making you feel worthless
• controlling who you see and what you wear
• monitoring your time

Southwark Council’s #oktotalk video highlights the early alarm bells we all need to be aware of to protect ourselves and our loved ones. Please watch and share.

It's important to remember that you're not to blame for any kind of abuse and there's help available to make you and your children safe and to get your life back on track.

How to get help

If you are in immediate danger, always call the police on 999.

If you're a victim of any kind of domestic abuse, there are services that can help.

From 6th February 2023, Refuge is delivering domestic and sexual violence community-based services in Southwark. 

Refuge is the largest specialist domestic abuse organisation in the UK. On any given day their services support thousands of survivors, helping them to overcome the physical, emotional, financial, and logistical impacts of abuse and rebuild their lives - free from fear. 

• Independent Gender-Based Violence Advocates (IGVAs) - work with people who are resident in Southwark from the age of 16. The IGVAs will support all levels of risk; high, medium, standard and provide information advice and guidance, effective case managements and intensive advocacy for survivors of gender-based violence and abuse. 
• Housing IDVA - specialist support for survivors of domestic abuse with complex housing issues. Co-located within Southwark Housing Solutions service, and referrals directly received from housing teams. 
• Sanctuary Scheme - aims to minimise the number of households, families and individuals who must leave their own home because of domestic abuse by exploring safe alternatives where appropriate such as implementing safety measures in the victim's homes. 
• IRIS Advocate Educator - specialist advocacy and support to clients with referrals received specifically from GP surgeries. 
• Perpetrators Service - the overarching goal of the service is to increase the safety and wellbeing of domestic abuse survivors and any children involved by intervening with perpetrators to hold them accountable and provide them with opportunities to change through 1-to-1 intensive case management sessions. To do this the survivor also needs to be referred to the IGVA service so that Refuge can offer them support and assess any ongoin risks to them. 
• Survivor group work programme - 12-week group which supports women to regain ownership of their lives when they have been subjected to abuse or violence. 

 In Partnership with Bede House, Refuge will also be delivering: 

• Counselling - 16 week 1-2-1 counselling programme for survivors of domestic and/or sexual abuse. The service is for women and girls who are 14 years and over who are resident in or have a connection with Southwark and have experience domestic and/or sexual abuse. 
• Children's Therapeutic Support - qualified Children's Therapist to provide a 1-2-1 12 week play and arts based therapeutic intervention to children and young people.

The service is available to those living in Southwark who have experienced, or are at risk of, gender based violence including: 

• Domnestic violence and abuse
• Rape, sexual violence 
• Prostitution 
• Trafficking for sexual exploitation 
• Stalking and harrassment 
• Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) 
• Forced marriage 
• So-called 'honor'-based abuse

Refuge's service information pack and referral form can be downloaded on the left hand side of this page. 

Leaving home

If it becomes too dangerous to remain in your home, there are options available to you.Call Southwark Advocacy and Support Services (SASS) on 0207 593 1290 for further information and advice.If you're a Southwark tenant, you can also contact your Resident Services Officer. We may be able to help provide you with accommodation in or out of the borough - call 020 7525 5950 for more advice.

Victim Support have partnered with NACRO and Shelter to provide crisis accommodation for male victims of domestic abuse. For advice and support you can call the London Victim and Witness Service on 0808 168 9291. The referral form can be downloaded here.

Clare's Law (The Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme)

The scheme recognises two procedures for disclosing information:

1. "Right to ask" is triggered by a member of the public applying to the police for a disclosure.
2. "Right to know is triggered by the police making a proactive decision to disclose information to protect a potential victim.

The person at risk can make a disclosure application online here. A family member or friend can also make an application on their behalf, but the information will only be disclosed to the person at risk, and the person at risk will not be told who made the application.

Advice on using this section safely

If you're worried about people knowing your browsing history, go to the Refuge website, where you will find further information and guidance on how to cover your tracks.

If you want to be completely sure that you're not being tracked online, the safest way is to access the internet at a local library, a friend's house or at work.

If you're using this section and you're worried about someone seeing what you're looking at online, use the links which take you directly to the BBC homepage.

Click here to exit to the BBC website
 

The Women's Safety Charter

The Women's Safety Charter was developed with venues in the borough. The charter is based on a number of key principles which ensure that all staff working at licensed premises act in a responsible and supportive manner, taking all reports seriously. Click here for more information, and to sign up to the charter.

IRIS (Identification and Referral to Improve Safety)

IRIS  is a domestic violence and abuse training support and referral programme for GP surgeries. NHS Southwark CCG and Southwark Council have jointly commissioned and funded this programme in Southwark.

Core areas of the programme are:

• training and education
• clinical enquiry
• care pathways 
• an enhanced referral pathway to specialist domestic violence services

IRIS is aimed at women who are experiencing DVA from a current partner, ex-partner or adult family member. IRIS also provides information and signposting for male victims and for perpetrators.